Divorce may make relationships seem toxic, but the experience can actually be a great learning opportunity that prepares you for the relationship of a lifetime. It all depends on which direction that you choose to take once the papers are final. Will you work on yourself mentally, physically, and emotionally? Or will you double down on the misery and bitterness? While not every decision is yours to make, the path you choose is, and that can make all the difference in the world. Let’s look at all the ways that divorce can help.
1. Divorce can make you realize you’re looking for the wrong things.
When you said, “I do,” you probably didn’t expect that the marriage had a finite amount of time to exist. Once you find out that “till death do us part” is actually “till sick of us do us part,” you have the opportunity to look at the ideals that you had set in place and reevaluate whether they were right for you or not. More often than not, you’ll find that many of the things you thought you wanted, you really don’t, or at least you chose the wrong path for getting them.
2. Divorce can help you realize the work involved in making a relationship successful.
Even though divorces are still trending at around 50 percent, people still make the mistake of thinking that getting married ends the work involved in building a strong relationship. They think that they’ve crossed some imaginary “finish line,” and that it’s now smooth sailing all the way. Perhaps it would be if not for one crucial fact: at some point, the honeymoon phase ends. Always. That’s when the actual work starts, and if one or both aren’t prepared to do that work, the relationship is doomed. Divorcees realize that they don’t have to stop trying once they get remarried.
3. Divorce can point out your weaknesses and help you do something about them.
Not caring enough about what you eat or how often you exercise? Bad at picking responsible and giving partners? A divorce can help you see these weaknesses as well as others and help you work to improve the parts of your life that lead to bad decisions and judgment calls.
While divorce isn’t something that you want to celebrate necessarily, it can be the learning tool needed to help you get the life you were made for. You just have to be open to the lessons. Good luck!