One of the biggest problems that married people face– Particularly those who are struggling to keep their marriage healthy–is the issue of compromise. It’s possible that in the beginning of a relationship one partner will defer to the other partner out of blind love. But in reality this gets old the longer the marriage goes on, and by the time the passive partner feels like pushing back, everything feels more combative. In order to avoid the issues that often come with difficulty compromising, we have put together 4 quick tips that should help you manage conflicts better. Let’s get started!
1. Be a problem solver.
When you do have occasional differences with your spouse, don’t approach it as an argument but as a problem that you can solve together. This involves actually listening to what the other person has to say and challenging your own ideas and believes as to what is “right” and “wrong.”
2. Find the right time.
One of the hardest things on your ability to compromise is the time and place that you choose to have the tough discussions. This must be in alignment so that you both feel comfortable to express your ideas even if it leads to more heated exchanges. The worst lie that was ever told about marriage is that you are doing something wrong if you fight or have disagreements. It’s certainly okay to see things differently from your spouse provided that you are respectful of one another in doing so. Mindfulness of each others’ time and comfort levels are how you can show that respect.
3. Be open to other ideas.
Another problem that many marriages suffer from, is that one or neither spouse enter into a disagreement with any concept of capitulation. Instead of listening, they just want to get in their shots and win the argument. If compromise is important to you, then you must shut this line of thinking out once and for all. You don’t have to give up on your own ideas, but how can you expect to ever be listened to and respected if you’re not willing to do that yourself?
4. Be assertive.
If you’re too weak in how you defend your arguments and are always giving up the fight, you run the risk of losing your spouse’s respect and being walked on. Just like you can listen and respect without giving in on something you truly believe, you can state your case in a way that is assertive and respectful of the other person.
When both parties in a marriage adopt these types of views, they stand a much better chance of finding the compromise needed for surviving and building an even stronger bond. What are some compromise techniques that have helped you?[Image via Values.com]