It may not seem like it when you’re going through the rough spot, but there really are a lot of positive divorce outcomes if you hang in there and fight for them long enough. Thing is, you may already be experiencing some of these outcomes and not even be aware of them. That’s okay. It takes a while to count your blessings again after the rug has been pulled from under your feet. But you can get there. It starts with awareness. Here are some pluses that you should definitely be aware of.
1. You find out who your true friends are.
If you’re like most divorcees when news broke of their split, then you will probably be bombarded with well wishes from those closest to you. While any effort should be appreciated, divorce often will shine a light on the one or two people, who care enough to call, come by, and take you out for whatever. Without the divorce, you might have gone on in a zombielike state taking these people for granted. But experiencing something like this gives you a chance to notice them, to reconnect, and to forge a strong bond moving forward.
2. You get to start calling the shots of your own life again.
Not having to do things that you never liked doing before but did anyway due to a feeling of spousal obligation, can be a freeing experience. When you look at the weekend ahead and realize you don’t have to visit any annoying in-laws or you realize that YOU get to decide what movie you want to see/book you want to read/activity you want to do, it can remind you of all the positive possibilities that lie ahead.
3. You get to decide the type of person you will become.
While divorce shouldn’t have to be what it takes for a person to take charge of their own life again, it so often is. With this outcome, you must understand that a year/5 years/10 years from now, you will no longer be the person that you are today. You could be stronger. You could be weaker. You could go out and do all the things you’ve ever wanted to do, or you could retreat inside yourself and never take a chance on anything. Regardless, it’s your decision to make once the divorce papers are final, and you don’t have to answer to anyone but yourself. That can be a blessing or a curse depending on how you handle it, but for now, it’s refreshing.
What were some positive things that you discovered as a direct result of your divorce? Sound off in the comments section.