As an online divorce review site, we like to keep up with the issues that couples are facing in the modern world. Recently on the /relationships subreddit a husband had an inquiry regarding his wife of 17 years.
Getting coffee this morning and my wife’s phone is lit up on the counter. Thinking she is getting/missed a call or text, I pick it up to take it to her. I realize as I glance at it that it isn’t the caller ID screen, it’s Tinder. When I hand it to her and ask why she claims “it’s nothing, I just wanted to show a friend at work the stuff people post.”
I am usually very trusting of her as she has rarely given me reason not to be. I don’t use apps, just a desktop so I am unfamiliar with Tinder in detail. Does it require making an account in order to browse? Do people seriously download it just for entertainment? It strikes me as odd as downloading Steam with no intentions of playing games.
The general consensus was that, yes, some people do just put Tinder on their phones for entertainment value, but yes, the gentleman in question should also be concerned.
Technology has made it super-easy for people to cheat on their spouses or partners. The enormous world that a smartphone opens up to an individual is an ecosystem where anything can happen, including things that both parties would have not thought possible at one time in the relationship.
The wife in this case claims that the app being on her phone is innocent and that she was just showing a friend at work so they could have a few laughs. Unfortunately, that does little to give the man peace of mind because it’s unusual for someone to end up with Tinder if they didn’t, at first, go looking for it. And if the app being on the phone was innocent, then she should have anticipated a sticky situation and made her spouse the first person with whom she shared the laugh.
Relationships definitely deserve extra layers of respect, consideration, and dignity. While this case may be entirely innocent, it is concerning that this has happened to the poster.
If your spouse has a questionable dating app on their phone, don’t laugh it off. You have a right to know what it’s doing there. If your spouse won’t tell you or gets defensive or nervous, then you should be on guard. And don’t feel badly about asking. A marriage is a commitment and you have the right to know if that commitment is being broken. If it is and you would like to explore your options, then check out some of our online divorce reviews, and best of luck![Image via Flickr Creative Commons]