One of the biggest issues that you will encounter once you’re divorced and living alone again is dealing with the silence. That’s a reality coming true for one Redditor, who recently asked others what they do to fill the void.
“My wife and I are separated, and it is on the way to divorce,” he writes. “She left a few weeks ago and went 3 hours away with the kids to her parents’ house. I had my kids last weekend, and this week has been hard. I find myself stuck in my habits of going to their rooms in the morning to get them up for school. The only thing it does is bring me down. At night, it is eerily silent in the house without the kids, and I find myself stopping what I am doing at their bedtime to get them around. … I am just looking for advice as what I can do to make this transition easier. I am finding it hard to break the habits associated with my kids.”
While missing your children can exacerbate feelings of loneliness, the key to overcoming the silence is to realize that it doesn’t have to control you. In order to do this, you should have both short-term and long-term goals.
As an online divorce site, we see divorcees who struggle with creating goals to see themselves through the loneliness. That’s because the weight of the emotions surrounding divorce can be overwhelming. In order to get through it, it’s important to find simple pleasures and comforts. If getting out a little more than you’re used to helps, then you should go for a jog or engage in a little retail therapy whenever feeling down. If money is an issue, stay in and watch something on Netflix, Hulu, Amazon Prime, etc., that you may not have been able to watch with the wife and kids present. Do laundry, clean the house, never pass up an opportunity for drinks and meals with friends. Fill the silence with enjoyable, comforting things. Short-term goals are important because they help you find your way to long-term goals.
No one wants to stay in their misery and loneliness forever. Once you’ve come to terms with the fact that the marriage is over, you need to start thinking about what it would take to make you happy again. Is it to get remarried? If so, what kind of person would you marry the next time around? If the answer is your ex, then you might want to rethink it. After all, you got divorced for a reason. If you were the cause of the divorce, then this might be a good time to think about the failings you had that led to said outcome. How will you change those attributes so that the next marriage is successful? If you’re hung up on your ex but they ran out on you, then recalibrate what you look for in a spouse. Start envisioning a happier future, and it’ll be easier working toward it.
If you are about to go through your own divorce, we recommend checking out some of our online divorce reviews. Best of luck![Image via Flickr Creative Commons]