When I taught school, there was something we called “teachable moments.” Those were the moments where through chance/circumstance, you were able to use something happening in the world — locally, nationally, globally — to teach complex lessons to your students. As it turns out, divorce has a lot of teachable moments. Things little and small that you would never expect to learn until they’re there staring you right in the face. Here are a few of the most common.
1. You may love/hate a band/song/show/movie/book that you previously hated/loved.
Wow that’s a lot of slash marks! To clarify with an example, let’s say that you and your spouse had a favorite movie that you watched a dozen times together. You may find yourself post-divorce realizing that you never really liked it at all. Instead you were manufacturing affection for it in respect to your wife. This can happen even if you went through an online divorce and neither of you are particularly angry or bitter to one another. That’s because in a relationship we lose ourselves to a degree.
2. You may find yourself coming out of the proverbial shell.
Not to get too graphic but let’s look at the bedroom as an example. Over time, the physical relationship between two people can get bogged down in routine and boredom. While you may have once looked forward to being together alone, you might find yourself more and more opting for staying up late and watching a movie over anything that might go on behind closed doors. This is normal. Kids, time, and routine can take it out of you and make you forget what you liked about the physical relationship. After divorce, you might find this urge is coming back to you, and you might feel more emboldened to indulge your own tastes instead of the tastes of someone else. This doesn’t have to strictly apply to sex either. It could be anything: your prohibition on eating Asian food, your urge to indulge your inner night owl, etc.
3. You may find the pain that was once unbearable is now easy to manage.
Anniversaries offer up a great example of this. At first, you will feel lost and downtrodden as you relive anniversary milestones. Over time, however, you may have trouble remembering exact dates, or you may look back and realize that you were living life the last three months and didn’t even realize your wedding anniversary was in July!
If you’re here reading our online divorce reviews, then you may not be at this stage yet; but have patience and commit to growing stronger every day. Before you know it, life will be filled with pleasant surprises and, yes, teachable moments.[Image via Flickr Creative Commons]