A second marriage isn’t something that you want to enter into lightly when you’ve lived through the pain of divorce. While you probably already know that, you still may not be asking the right questions of your new spouse-to-be. To avoid any messy “I do” re-dos we suggest sitting down and having a conversation. Then, give serious thought to how your significant other answers (and how you would answer now that you’ve grown). Let’s get started.
1. Do you believe in God?
Whether the person believes in God or not is immaterial to whether the marriage works out. What isn’t immaterial, however, is how well what they answer lines up with what you really think. Marriages where the two people involved fail to align spiritually have an uphill climb, statistically speaking. If you are both actively religious people and worship at the same location, then you stand a better chance of survival than if one of you did and the other slept in. Likewise, two atheists have a much better chance of survival than a couple consisting of one atheist and one “spiritual” person.
2. Do you vote Democrat, Republican, or Independent?
The actual vote isn’t as important as the issues that each of these political affiliations represent. Full disclosure: we get no kickback on this, we just think it’s a great tool for seeing where you truly fall politically, but you should try the quiz at ISideWith.com to see what issues are the most important to you, and which candidate you’re most likely to agree with. If you and your spouse-to-be take all the questions — and take them seriously — you’ll have a great idea of how closely you believe. But again, opposites can attract, so pay attention to the questions that are extremely important to you as well as the final percentage. The more drastically different you are on key issues, the greater the likelihood of experiencing conflict.
3. How do you feel about children?
This one is obvious, especially if you have kids of your own. Having children is a seismic event in any relationship, and you have to be on the same page to avoid relationship-killing conflict.
4. What is your income, and how much debt do you have?
Yes, this is an extremely personal question, but you’re marrying this person! Since financial differences are the leading causes of divorce, it’s vital that you find someone responsible with money. If you’re irresponsible with money, then you need to follow their lead because more likely than not financial trouble will lead to divorce.
What are some questions we left off? Share your picks in our comments section below!